How to Give Gentle and Helpful Feedback to Writers

When people ask for feedback in social media writing groups, they often preface their request with phrases like “Please be gentle” or “Please be kind.” Why? They’re afraid. Even well-meaning people can be unintentionally tactless or harsh.

(5 Things to Know When Writing With Friends.)

Don’t be that person who makes them nervous. Here are five tips to help you give feedback that is both compassionate and useful.

1. Be specific.

The most helpful feedback points to specific things in the text. Instead of saying, “I found it boring,” highlight exactly where your attention started to drift. Instead of “This character is unbelievable,” try something like, “I’m finding it hard to understand Brenda’s motivation for quitting their job.” This technique also helps you discuss the writing through a less emotional lens. It’s about the writer and their writing, not your own feelings.

2. Include positive comments.

Some people think “critique” means identifying all the bad parts or revealing all the flaws. The word “critique” comes from French, where it means “examining the merits” of something, usually art. It’s only when “critique” migrated to English that it took on these judgy overtones. Part of your job as giver-of-feedback is to say what the writer has done well. Again, be specific. Congratulate them on finishing the piece. That’s already an achievement.

3. Offer questions and suggestions.

It can be tempting to show your writer buddy how to do it better. Avoid this temptation. Just ask questions and offer your commentary. Don’t rewrite the text in your own voice. Every writer has a style. Rewriting the text makes it yours, not theirs. If you want to modify the text, use Track Changes or another method that retains the original version. But don’t just make changes. Say why you think the change improves the text. Be sure to state clearly that these changes are only suggestions. It’s up to the writer to decide what works for them.

With a growing catalog of instructional writing videos available instantly, we have writing instruction on everything from improving your craft to getting published and finding an audience. New videos are added every month!

4. Focus on a few big things.

It’s most helpful to focus on a few areas for improvement. Too much feedback can lead to information overload—or, in the worst case, despair. You don’t want the other writer to give up on the piece just because it needs a polish. Pick a few points to focus on. Big-picture stuff like plot holes or inconsistent characterization. Never proofread or “fix” grammar mistakes, unless they’ve explicitly asked you to. That stuff comes at the very end, once the final draft is nailed down. There’s no point in fixing stuff that might be cut out or rewritten, and it leads the writer’s attention in the wrong direction. It can also come off as pedantic or teacher-y, even if you mean well.

5. Thank them for trusting you with their words.

We writers care about our writing. Sometimes to the extent that any negative comment feels like a knife to the chest. Death by a thousand cuts. Putting our work out there, even showing it to one other person, takes courage. Keep that in mind, always. Acknowledge their trust in you. Doing so can alleviate some anxiety around getting feedback. Almost any piece of writing can be improved. An early reader always has thoughts on how to do that. But start out by recognizing that they have just handed you a piece of their heart. Handle with care.